Walk like a man (In two-inch spikes)

By Shane Craver on September 26, 2009

Yes, today we're talking about lawn aeration, a nice little tactic for a healthy, green lawn.  While most things die when you punch a few thousand small holes in it, lawns are gluttons for punishment and love it.

Most new homeowners are looking for a way to impress neighbors and prove that they will be a good addition to the community.  A not-so-easy way to make that happen is to show off a deep green, weed free, and well trimmed lawn.

If that's your thing, then you have probably already been tempted by the punk-rock-looking, spiked lawn aeration shoes. 

These $19.95 sets of plastic, metal and a few strappy things promise to "open air passages to help get water, air, and nutrients down to the root zone" by simply taking a stroll around your yard.

Sounds good, huh?

It is if you don't mind looking like a total goober as you take large, flat-footed, pseudo-stomps while your neighbors smile and wave then giggle-snort as they walk away.  No folks, there's no heel/toe capabilities when you have 24, two-inch mole killers strapped to your feet.

Aesthetics in application aside, aeration does work well for lawns, but the best benefits are seen with core aeration – removing plugs of sod with a big, loud machine.  Stabbing your lawn with spikes is about as effective as running a large fork through your tall fescue.  It may actually cause a bit of harm as it could further compact your soil – the opposite of aeration.

For the new homeowner looking to impress, put down the Frontgate catalog and, instead, head over to your local grocery store and purchase wine, beer, or barbeque for your nice – yet inevitably giggle-snorting – neighbors.

They'll appreciate your consideration.